How to be a more likeable person?

I like you

Have you ever wanted to be a more likeable person?

I am not asking if you want everybody to like you because it will never happen.

You can’t please everybody and very often the behavior that will get some people to like you will make others dislike you.

And you just can’t switch behaviors to make others change their mind.

However, you can make more people like you, by increasing your likeability factor, and this can be achieved if you follow these advices:

1: SMILE

As an nonverbal communication & Image Management specialist, I repeatedly tell clients “Always dress up with a smile”. Whatever country or culture you are from, if you are male or a female, young or old, tall or short, blue-eyed or dark-eyed, “smiling” is a Universal facial expression.

A smile radiates that you are a more approachable person –hence, a more likeable person.

Smiling is also very contagious. When someone smiles at us…we tend to automatically return the smile and view them as a likeable person. A smile puts people at ease and that increases your likeability factor.

Ever tried to resist a toddler’s smile?  Impossible!

Ever wonder why the Mona Lisa became so famous? One possible answer could be: because of her unique smile.

2: Be POSITIVE

Why do we like positive people?

Because they make us feel good! If you want to be a more likeable person you need to be positive. Speak with optimism – see the glass half-full!  Be joyful.

Yes, world news is often depressing but positive people talk about good things that happen every day.

Develop a healthy, feel-good attitude about yourself.

Have you noticed that being positive is also contagious?  –  Start an epidemic!

3: Be INTERESTED in others

As human beings, we all are naturally interested in ourselves and we’re always happy to meet someone who shares this interest.

William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli, both eminent British statesmen were considered as the two smartest persons in England, in the late nineteenth century. A young journalist said that she would dine with both so she could decide which one was smarter. She compared both men and here is what she reported: “When I dined with Mr. Gladstone, I felt as though he was the smartest man in England. But when I dined with Mr. Disraeli, I felt as though I was the smartest woman in England.”

The point here is that William Gladstone spoke while Benjamin Disraeli listened.

Encourage others to speak about their passions, and ask questions to discover what is important to them.

Remember do not to interrupt when someone is speaking – it will instantly decrease your likeability factor.

Want to be more likeable? Talk to people about themselves.

4: Have INTEGRITY

Integrity is a very likeable attribute. It means that you say what you think and you do what you say. Your thoughts, words and actions are aligned.

Why is this important? Simply because people can trust you.

There is a big overlap between trusting someone and liking someone. We all know people we like very much but wouldn’t trust even for minor favors.

Cultivate your integrity and notice how others will be more open with you. Their ability to trust you will increase your likeability.

Want to start to be a more likeable person now?  

Remember to:

  • First: smile
  • Second: be positive
  • Third: be interested in others
  • Fourth: have integrity.

DO NOT MIX UP BETWEEN BEING DRESSED UP & BEING MASCULINE.

I recently read an article on Business Insider, the author was arguing that People are unconsciously sexist about how women should look at work .

Maryssa Meyer

I couldn’t help resist to comment on the article.

Speaking about people “who are unconsciously sexist about how women should look at work”, let me just remind you that we are in 2015 and that this article is based on a study dated 25 years ago, in 1990, additionally only 109 people participated to the study which is clearly insignificant .

There are numerous examples of women who are not “masculine” at all and have successful & powerful positions today in 2015, either in the business or political sphere.
Maryssa Meyer was pictured on the cover page of Fortune Magazine wearing a black fitted dress, Cristina Fernandez, President of Argentina, Hilary Clinton, Sonia Gandhi, Sheryl Sanberg…etc…

These women are not “masculine” but dressed appropriately for their position, mainly using plain & dark colors, no girly accessories. But don’t mix up being dressed up appropriately for a position or a task and being masculine.Condoleeza Rice
How would you perceive or rate a man with a T-shirt versus a man with a shirt & a tie for a leadership position?

How would you trust a woman with a mini skirt versus a woman with a knee-high straight skirt for a leadership role?
Your analysis is too simplistic and unless you are unconsciously sexist yourself, I can understand why you came up with this study.

Hilary Clinton

http://uk.businessinsider.com/women-and-clothing-at-work-2015

People are unconsciously sexist about how women should look at work by Drake Bayer
The clothes you wear have a profound impact on how people perceive you.
Studies suggest that formal dress makes teaching assistants look more capable, wearing thick glasses makes people look smarter, and well-dressed customer-service agents are more likely to score sales.
That’s all great.
But the gender implications of dress go even further — and grow toxic.
In her 1990 study, Auburn University professor Sandra M. Forsythe asked 109 respondents who worked in marketing and banking to watch four videos of female applicants interviewing for a management job. Applicants wore outfits with different degrees of masculinity.
For Forsythe, « masculine » dress featured straight silhouettes, angular lines, and dark colors — as in a dark navy suit — while feminine dress featured rounded silhouettes, curved lines, and light colors — as in a light beige dress.
The respondents rated each applicant on their management abilities and their hireability.
The result? The more masculine the clothing, the more likely the applicant would be recommended to be hired — regardless of whether a man or woman was making the recommendation. Coincidentally, the women who were more masculinely dressed were also seen as more forceful and aggressive — qualities that predict climbing the corporate ladder.
Forsythe’s study shows how cultural associations produce a bias in hiring. Masculinity is equated with leadership, so women who dress more masculinely are seen as better leaders.
Cultural biases show up in many contexts:
• Just holding a beer makes people look dumber, thanks to how closely associated drinking and foolishness are in our culture.
• People who wear white labcoats — associated with doctors and chemists — actually perform better on concentration tasks, showing that presentation-based biases don’t just affect the viewer, but the person wearing the clothes.
• Men who talk a lot at work are seen as more competent, while women who speak up at work are seen as less competent.
Frustratingly, more recent research suggests that the biases that Forsythe examined are with us today, especially in regard to gender. Female scientists with identical resumes to male scientists get lower initial salary offers, women are less likely to pursue « genius »-driven fields like engineering, and successful women are generally perceived as less trustworthy than successful men.
Maybe that’s why it’s still tall, deep-voiced men who are seen as CEO material.

My Valentine, my Valentine…

Haven’t you dreamed of spending Valentine’s Day in Paris?

The city of love – la ville des amoureux  as pictured by Artist Doisneaux. Doineaux

Of course, Valentine’s Day is celebrated all over the world, but Paris is the city where lovers like to walk along the Quai de Seine hand in hand, put a lock on the Pont des Arts to seal their love, sing “La vie en rose” in the rain and, of course, end the day with a delicious dinner en amoureux.  

 Le pont des Arts

 

A box of chocolates,

Valentine's chocolates

A bunch of roses,

au nom de la rose

or a piece of jewelry.

I can’t wait for February 14th, aren’t you?

@ Pierre Hermé Paris

Pierre Hermé_coeur_tarte_rose_jasmin

Savor the shortbread with jasmine ganache

and mascarpone cream with rose flavor.

@ La Durée Paris

La Durée

Le Saint-Honoré with the delicate fragrances of rose, raspberry and ginger.

What are you going to wear on your day & evening of Saint-Valentin?

My suggestion, always trust the look that fits you best. Spice it up with the just pretty accessories of « pure luxury » or beautiful vintage pieces gleaned over your shopping trips.

Here are 4 inspired looks for a night full of love and 3 proposals for a trendy saint-Valentin

The Urban Fashionista – like Sarah Jessica Parker, comfortable and on the edge of fashion.

Sarah Jessica Parker pink & red outfit

The dusted-off vintage

Red & pink in winter

The Sexy and chic Style – Like Victoria Beckham.

VB red dress

The tradi style

Jupe 60 rouge

Comment la communication non-verbale peut-elle améliorer la relation client ?

images3 icones

Une communication efficace est le fondement d’une relation client durable et solide.
Pour votre client, vous communiquez l’image de votre entreprise. La façon dont votre client perçoit votre communication influe directement sur la relation que vous allez construire avec lui. Vos interactions avec votre client implique que vous soyez un excellent communicant que ce soit pour le convaincre, l’aider à prendre une décision ou l’assurer que vous pourrez répondre à ses questions ou résoudre ses problèmes. Les différents signaux de votre communication vous aideront dans cette tâche et vous permettront de construire une relation durable avec vos clients.

La communication verbale (les mots) ne représente que 7% de notre communication globale, résultat des études menées par Albert Mehrabian, prof émérite de l’université de Californie.
Alors comment la communication non verbale peut-elle améliorer la relation client ?
Quels sont ces signaux non verbaux ?

Si l’écoute est cruciale pour comprendre votre client, une bonne communication implique beaucoup plus que de l’écoute. Que vous cherchiez à informer ou à convaincre, à inspirer ou à rassurer, votre langage corporel (body language), vos expressions faciales, votre regard, vos gestes ainsi que le ton de votre voix, vous permettront d’améliorer de façon significative votre communication.
Comment utiliser les signaux non verbaux pour améliorer la relation clientèle ?

Le Body Language :Best Body language

Lorsque vous êtes en rendez-vous avec vos clients utilisez votre langage corporel pour compléter votre discours. Une tenue vestimentaire soignée améliore la perception de votre client qui pensera que vous apporterez tout le soin nécessaire à la gestion de sa demande. Projetez une image de confiance et d’assurance et maintenez une posture droite. Gardez vos mains naturellement de chaque côté ou pliez-les bras légèrement en face de vous. Si vous êtes assis, maintenez votre posture droite et penchez-vous légèrement en avant lorsque vous parlez. Respectez votre interlocuteur en respectant son « espace vital ». L’espace vital est la distance adéquate entre vous et votre client, celle dans laquelle vous pouvez établir une communication de qualité. A travers le choix de la zone de communication, nous donnons des informations sur nos comportements et nos intentions. En s’approchant ou en s’éloignant de quelqu’un, on révèle toujours quelque chose de nous-même. Si votre interlocuteur est continuellement en recule, c’est que vous avez probablement envahi son espace vitale.

Les Expressions faciales :

Votre visage donne un instantané de vos sentiments, il est donc important de faire attention à vos expressions faciales et de les maîtriser pour renforcer votre message. Ne soyez pas figé non plus, vous devez exprimer des émotions. Montrez de l’enthousiasme, de l’intérêt, de la sincérité, de la crédibilité ou d’autres émotions qui correspondent au message que vous souhaitez projeter. Le sourire est l’expression la plus positive et celle qui permettra de nouer le plus rapidement une relation. Le sourire est universel, il existe dans toutes les cultures, toutes les langues.

Le regard :eye contact

Le regard est un élément important de la communication non verbale, mais il nous est parfois difficile à maîtriser. Parler tout en maintenant un contact visuel qui ne soit pas gênant pour votre client peut être difficile. Pour ne pas le mettre mal à l’aise, jetez occasionnellement votre regard ailleurs puis reprenez le contact visuel. Si vous sentez que votre interlocuteur est mal à l’aise, jetez plus fréquemment des coups d’œil ailleurs.
Tout comme votre regard, les mouvements de sourcils peuvent améliorer votre message.
Les sourcils surélevés peuvent marquer l’intérêt, l’enthousiasme, le choc ou l’excitation. Froncer les sourcils et vous exprimerez une certaine préoccupation, une certain confusion voire de la colère. Utilisez vos sourcils à votre avantage sans exagérer.

Les gestes:Gestures

Les gestes servent également à améliorer votre communication. Utiliser les gestes pour souligner un point précis, un argument important ou pour exprimer des émotions. Si en revanche vous avez l’habitude de gesticuler continuellement quand vous parlez, vous prenez le risque que votre interlocuteur se concentre principalement sur vos gestes plus que sur votre message. Laissez vos mains naturellement accompagner votre discours et entraînez-vous à les garder détendues sur le bureau ou le long de votre corps lorsque vous êtes debout. N’oubliez pas : Gardez toujours vos mains pour vous.

La Voix :

Le ton de votre voix fait partie de la communication non-verbale, dans les études d’Albert Mehrabian les 93% se décompose ainsi, 38 % de la communication est vocale (intonation et son de la voix), et 55 % de la communication est visuelle (expressions du visage et du langage corporel). Votre voix reflète vos émotions et votre état d’esprit. Vous ne pourrez jamais convaincre ni susciter l’attention de votre client si votre ton est méprisant ou hostile.

 

La communication non-verbale fait partie intégrante de votre relation client. Ignorer ce paramètre peut mettre en péril cette relation. La maîtrise des signaux non verbaux tels que votre langage corporel, les expressions faciales, le regard, les gestes ou la voix comme expliqué ci-dessus est l’outil le plus puissant pour convaincre un client de votre sincérité, de votre engagement et de votre enthousiasme. Ne négligez jamais votre communication non verbale !

BODY LANGUAGE: What Image do you want to project?

body language signals

Say you have to make a presentation in front of a large audience. Of course, you have already given several presentations in public but still, you’re stressed, you sweat a lot, and your heart pounds. You walk towards the microphone, all eyes are on you, and everyone expects your presentation. You haven’t said a word; however with just your presence, you have already given important information about yourself. It only takes a few seconds for your audience to have a first impression on who you are. This first impression is made on a combination of: your attitude, your posture, your facial expressions, the way you’re dressed and lots more. All these ingredients contribute to give an idea of who you are. These components also named body language are a part of the non-verbal communication.

  • Why is Image so important?
  • How do you control the image we project to others?
  • Can body language increase our confidence or reduce our stress?

Your image is a form of language and your body is a communication tool, people you speak to will only see and remember what you show them. In other words, the most important component of your communication, it is not what you say, but YOU. Albert Mehrabian, a Professor of psychology at the University of California demonstrated in his studies that our verbal communication represents only 7% of our global communication. This probably explains the reason why we pay so much attention to appearances.

Indeed, we are very judgmental about others and very often lack awareness of our own self-image. This is mainly due to the fear of getting to know our true nature and eventually having to work on our own self-image. This can be painful, so we prefer to keep an ideal image of ourselves. The control of your image begins with the analysis of how you are perceived. Getting to know the image we project to others is essential, equally in our professional and personal environment. 360 ° REACH is an online tool that will give you a thorough insight of the way others perceive you. www.reachcc.com

Likewise, Amy Cuddy, an Associate Professor in Social Psychology at Harvard Business School, used experimental methods to investigate how people judge and influence each other and themselves. Her researches on body language revealed that we can change other people’s perceptions and even our own body chemistry simply by changing body positions. Namely, by adopting a more power pose we can increase our confidence and reduce our level of stress. Boost Power Through Body Language.

 

 Now ignoring the importance of our non-verbal communication can compromise our personal & professional relations. Obviously it is unrealistic to want to control every aspects of our communication, nevertheless being aware of the impression you project on others is the first step to better communication.

 So, try a different attitude for a day – try a warm smile for instance– you will notice immediate changes in the way other people feel about you.

BODY LANGUAGE : QUELLE IMAGE PROJETEZ-VOUS ?

body language signals

Imaginez qu’on vous demande de faire une présentation devant une centaine de personnes. Vous avez déjà donné plusieurs présentations en public mais vous êtes toujours aussi tendu, vous transpirez abondamment, vous avez les mains moites et votre cœur bat la chamade. Vous marchez vers le micro, tous les regards sont braqués sur vous. Tout le monde attend votre exposé.
Sans le savoir, sans même avoir prononcé un mot, vous venez de communiquer à votre public d’importantes informations sur vous, à votre insu. En quelques secondes seulement, votre public se fait une idée sur vous, une impression. Votre attitude, votre posture, vos expressions faciales, votre tenue vestimentaire, la façon dont vous vous déplacez, tous ces éléments contribuent à donner une idée de qui vous êtes. Ces éléments sont plus communément appelés langage corporel ou Body-Language et font partis de la communication non verbale.
• Pourquoi l’image est-elle si importante ?
• Comment contrôler l’image que nous projetons sur autrui ?
• Le body-language peut-il augmenter notre assurance ou réduire notre stress ?
Votre image est une forme de langage et votre corps est un outil de communication, vos interlocuteurs ne regarderont et ne retiendront que ce que vous leur montrerez. En d’autres termes, l’élément le plus important dans votre communication, ce n’est pas ce que vous allez dire, mais VOUS. Albert Mehrabian, professeur de psychologie à l’Université de Californie a montré au terme d’études menées en 1967 que la communication verbale ne représente que 7% de notre communication totale. Ceci expliquerait sans doute la raison pour laquelle nous prêtons autant d’attention aux apparences.
Si nous sommes très critiques sur l’image d’autrui, nous sommes souvent très peu conscients de notre propre image. Cette méconnaissance est en grande partie due à la peur de découvrir notre vraie nature et de devoir peut-être remettre notre image en question. Une image bien souvent idéalisée de notre vraie nature.
Le contrôle de votre image commence par l’analyse de la façon dont vous êtes perçus. Découvrir le message que vous projetez dans les relations à autrui est essentiel, qu’elles soient commerciales, subordonnées, hiérarchiques ou bien personnelles. 360°REACH est un outil en ligne qui vous permettra d’analyser très justement la façon dont votre entourage professionnel et professionnel vous perçoit.  360Reach™ Personal Branding Survey

Pour Amy Cuddy, Professeur en Psychologie sociale à Harvard, le body-language est un moyen efficace d’augmenter son assurance et de réduire son niveau de stress. Elle montre que prendre des postures de confiance, même quand nous ne nous sentons pas confiants, peut augmenter notre taux de testostérones, le niveau de cortisol dans notre cerveau et avoir un impact positif sur nos chances de réussite.  Boost Power Through Body Language

Ignorer l’importance de notre communication non verbale peut coûter cher et gâcher nos relations tant professionnelles que personnelles.
Certes, nous ne pouvons pas gommer tous les défauts de notre communication, mais en être conscient permet de contrôler l’image que nous projetons sur les autres.
Essayez l’espace d’une journée une attitude positive et souriez – vous constaterez très vite une amélioration radicale et efficace de votre communication.

FOLLOW THE TREND, BUT NOT AT ANY COST! 5 TIPS TO WEAR THE DOUBLE-BREASTED SUIT.

DB Suits

You will certainly have noticed that the double-breasted suit, aka the DB suit has returned to men’s fashion magazines. This classic suit become ‘hype’ has experienced many transformations in half a century. But is it always a reference in terms of masculine elegance today?

Cary GrantThe DB suit has its glory days in the mid-1940s; it becomes the privilege of manly and stylish man of post WWII. Many figures of the 7th Art wore it brilliantly; we remember Cary Grant or Gary Cooper but also Jean-Paul Belmondo and Alain Delon in « Borsalino » by Jacques Deray in 1970. Increasingly associated with the business industry, it becomes the  illustration of social status, « Mad Men » the TV series is a perfect example, and somehow we could think that it has even contributed to re-stage this classic suit.

But since « Fashion is the imitation of who wants to be distinguished by one who does not want to be distinguished, it changes automatically »-Paul Valéry. Considered as dusty and old fashion by the trend setters, the double-breasted suit leaves rapidly the business world to be replaced by the straight jacket suit. Its comeback is the result of big transformations to stick to the man of today, a Metrosexual, young -looking man, skinny, effeminate and fragile.

The jacket is shortened and fitted cut to adapt the upper body of the man of 2014. The shoulder pads that used to give a boxy square-cut appearance to the jacket and authority and respectability to men are removed. The pants also are shortened and slimmed cut.  Thus modernized, the double-breasted suit becomes a dandys’must but still remains difficult to wear for most men.  Hence for those misguided it can be a real visual disaster for the new cut supposed to have a skinny body.

Thierry HenryThierry Henry in the US GQ mag of January 2014 experienced it. Everybody can tell that the suit he wears is too tight, too small, and too short for him, he looks ridiculous however blessed this ex French Soccer Star is for his body. Remember that all fashion trends are not to be followed but the good side of this is that ridicule never killed anyone.

 

5 tips to wear the double-breasted suit:   

David Bekham Denzel Washington

  1. Tailor-Made Vs. Ready-to-Wear

The double-breasted suit needs to be tailored-made, adjusted and fitted to each client.

  1. Noble & Light materials and fabrics

Prefer light materials & fabrics such as wool or wool-silk blends. Thick materials are likely to weigh down the style.

  1. The Appropriate Event

The double-breasted suit is inappropriate for most professional situations. Wearing it for no particular occasion will make you look grotesque, having bad taste or having fancy snobbery. The DB suit is perfect for weddings, important ceremonies, awards ceremonies, cocktails…

  1. Total Look

Definitely Yes! You can adopt the Total Look, provided that you avoid large tiles and bright colors. Do wear a tie and a chest pocket with; this DB suit will not suffer relaxed style. Be sophisticated and elegant, women will fall under your spell and men will be jealous.

  1. Be Yourself.

Do not wear the double-breasted suit if you feel uncomfortable and if you have never worn a suit before.